This actually happened a long time ago, and I’ve been meaning to post it because I think it’re pretty funny. Once upon a time, I was working on the book in a Barnes and Noble in KC when my mind wandered. Sherlock was at lunch, so I just gchatted her until she got back and it was awesome.
me: Once upon a time, a girl named Katie sat in a Barnes and Noble cafe while she worked on her book. It was great fun for her, and even though she had to pee, she wanted coffee
Sent at 1:52 PM on Friday
me: She stared blankly at the cover of a book, trying to get a sentence right in her head, and as she watched, the dragon on the cover of the book moved!
She squinted, convinced her eyes were playing tricks on her. But no, the dragon was alive!
It crawled out of the book and roared, sending the people of Barnes and Noble into a panic
All except the girl. She stared the shiny green dragon down, and it didnt blink as it stared back at her.
Cautiously, the girl stretched her hand toward the creature, and it pushed the end of its nose into her hand. The moment they made contact, the girl was transported with the dragon into a whole new world
Sent at 1:55 PM on Friday
me: This new world was strange. The ground was pink and the sky was gold, and giant flowers rose into the sky.
The dragon stretched its leathery wings, and the girl decided to see if she could ride it. The dragon didnt protest as she struggled onto its back, and once she was settled, it leapt to the sky.
Cold wind bit at the girls face as they flew, but she was too happy to notice or care
Cali: I WANNA FLY ON A DRAGON
me: Suddenly the girl noticed a glittering dragon approaching, and on its back sat a very familiar face. It was her friend Pretty Princess!
Her dragon was stunning as to be expected – its scales were finer than any diamond, and it glittered like a tiara in the sun
Cali: MY FACE RIGHT NOW IS SO HAPPY
Sent at 2:04 PM on Friday
me: “How did you get here?” The girl named Gravity asked with a laugh,
“I was at work,” Pretty Princess said, “and then this dragon crawled out of the computer screen.”
Sent at 2:05 PM on Friday
me: “I wonder why we were brought here,” Gravity mused.
Pretty Princess nodded, pushing her blond hair out of her eyes.”Maybe they need our help?”
(its almost scary how easy this story came to me hahaha)
Cali: (eeeeeeeeeeeeee I love)
me: Suddenly a great black dragon dropped from the sky, causing the glittering dragon and the green dragon to dive toward the earth. Gravity and Pretty Princess shrieked as they spiraled to the earth, and Gravity squeezed her eyes shut, convinced her dragon wasnt going to stop in time.
The green dragon landed with a jarring thud and when Gravity opened her eyes, she saw they were standing alongside Pretty Princess and her dragon
The mighty black dragon stood before them, and the girls nearly fell off their dragons in shock with it spoke to them
“My name is Smaug,” he said in what can only be described as a sexy voice. “And I require your help.”
(Ignore that I think Smaug is red in the book?)
me: “Smaug?” Gravity said, exchanging a glance with Pretty Princess. “Why do you need our help?”
Sent at 2:13 PM on Friday
me: Smaug sighed, and his great shoulders slumped. “It is understandable that you would be wary of me. That wretched hobbit changed the story and made me out to be the villain, but that is simply not the case.”
“Oh it’s not?” Pretty Princess asked doubtfully.
me: You’re right haha
“Oh its not?” Pretty Princess asked sarcastically.
Sent at 2:16 PM on Friday
me: “No,” Smaug snorted. “The wretched hobbit and that filthy, thieving Thorin Oakinshield stole from me. I was the true king under the mountain. Thorin is a greedy dwarf and concocted a ridiculous fairytale about how I stole from him.” The dragon huffed, sounding amused and irritated.
“Why should we believe a word you say?” Gravity asked, gripping the green dragon as the creature shifted.
Smaug regarded the girls with a fiery gaze. “I suppose that is a fair question,” he said finally. He took a step back and growled, which caused the green dragon and the glittery dragon to shake both girls from their backs and onto the ground
Sent at 2:22 PM on Friday
me: Before the girls could protest, the green dragon pressed its snout against Gravity’s temple, and the glittering, diamond dragon did the same to Pretty Princess
And once their minds were filled with the histories of the dragons, and they saw that the story Smaug told was true.
(Plot twist – holler)
Cali: I am loving this
Sent at 2:28 PM on Friday
me: Hahaha me too
Sent at 2:29 PM on Friday
me: When the presentation was over, the girls looked at each other, and then at Smaug, who was watching them sadly.
“You had a family,” Gravity whispered.
“And Thorin took them from you,” Pretty Princess said angrily. “Of course we’ll help you.”
Sent at 2:31 PM on Friday
me: “You are greedy though,” Gravity said after a pause. “If you were to give up the mountain, Thorin would return your family.”
“What’s left of it,” Smaug said bitterly. “And yes. Dragons love treasure. After what you were shown, you should understand this.”
Gravity winced, but nodded.
“So where do we begin?” Pretty Princess asked, leaning against her sparkling dragon.
“We begin,” Smaug said, sexy dragon voice growing determined, “by waging war on the Lonely Mountain.”
Bum bum bum to be continued
This is an odd headcannon fanfiction thing. Brought to you by the mind of Katie. Haha