Puppy Love: Monica Edition

After reading Lauren’s puppy love flashback, I felt inspired. I’m sure every gal can relate to the stories of a childhood crush. You remember the first few times your heart went all pit-pat-flip-flop-and-uh-flubba-dub-dub. Am I right? I mean, never mind the fact that some puppy loves were Disney cartoon characters! And what’s more, who cared if he was human or not! Robin Hood anyone? A dream boat right? Ooom hmmm. I’d still take a glowing flower ring from foxy Ol’ Rob any time, thank you very much. But I must digress. Whilst cartoon characters did make me giddy, they never once held a candle to my true live puppy loves. Yes, I say loves, plural, because there were multiple. SHOCK AND HORROR! WRETCHED UNFAITHFUL WENCH! I know *sigh*, I know. However, once I’ve shared the who, what, when, how, and why, I’m sure I’ll be forgiven for my unsteady ways.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy a little bit of eye candy… from a child’s point of view.

Enter exhibit A or numero uno: Little Joe Cartwright.

Ah, my first love. Swoon and sigh with me please! The first time I saw Little Joe sally forth from the Ponderosa on his black and white steed, I knew it was love. A girl never forgets her first cowboy love. Who could forget those eyes, that hair, the smile, and that manly getup! I knew Little Joe was destined to be my man! Sadly, my hopes were dashed. It never occurred to my childish mind that Bonanza was filmed years before my time. Alas, when I found out Little Joe was indeed long gone, I was crushed.

R.I.P. my love

So I moved on…and on … and on… and on…

It’s mighty morphin’ time!!: Tommy, Green/White/ Red Ranger

I couldn’t have picked a better rebound love if I do say so myself. Let’s see, shall I list some of his endearing qualities? Ok, here goes- Native American, Check. Handsome, Check. “Super Powers”, Check Check! Fights injustice and saves mankind, CHECK CHECK!! Ding the bell this girl is down for the count!

You know, I don’t recall the reason why our relationship went sour. It was so long ago. I hear he’s into cage fighting or some such thing these days. In hind sight it’s probably for the best we went our separate ways.

I don’t think mother and father would approve…. Hold up! Is that a “Jesus Didn’t Tap Out” tat I see!? Then, on second thought…Oh wait, forget it. The bride of chucky there on the pec? No.

*Disclaimer* I’m about to go against my original claim and insert a cartoon character in this list. Please forgive me.

Tale as old as time, true as it can be: The Beast (in human form)

When the narrator asked, “For who could ever learn to love a beast?”, I jumped up shouting with wild abandon, “I COULD! I COULD! ME! ME! PICK ME!”. However, that reaction didn’t come until after I had already seen the movie once and knew what The Beast would morph into at the end. True I feigned disinterest since who would ever fall for a man with fat lips (the irony, ha!)? Secretly though, I was smitten. After all, he did give Belle a library and pretty dresses.

I like to pretend I’m Belle. I’m sure you can see why.

Perhaps this is where my obsession with red hair began: Gilbert Blythe.

Upon first introduction, I found Gilbert to be a silly boy. How dare he insult red heads! Not that I should be offended, I’m not a ging myself, but I’d like to be. However, Gil’s persistence and genuine kindness began to make an impression on me. I wasn’t entirely sold on him until he finally declared is love whilst lying in feverish state. When Gilbert was dying, I too felt the reaper’s sickle descending upon me. When he gallantly strode through the apple orchard, I was the bird singing of his triumphant march!

The man from snowy river himself: Jim Craig

It is worth mentioning and I’m sure you’ve already noticed, there are two cowboys on my list. Though, I think it’s safe to say Jim Craig is the ultimate cowboy (after The Duke of course). If you’ve never seen The Man From Snowy River, please, do yourself a favor and watch it. If you think you’re safe and in no danger of falling for this Australian mountain man, think again my friend, think again.

Hmmm, something is wrong with this picture…

There we are. The happy couple.

He brought sexy back and his favorite color is baby blue: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!! *wild-crazy-fan-girl-screams*

You know how Shakespeare once penned, “The sun sees not till Heaven clears”?  My love for J.T. was a bit like that. I had bunches of clouds gettin’ all crazy up in here *waving hand in front of my face*. I will admit, back in the day I’d run to the TV screen and kiss his face whenever NSYNC made an appearance. I felt no shame. Shoot, I still don’t. Would I go for pastel purple glasses and diamond studs now? No, not if I wanted to keep some shred of dignity.  But there in lies the beauty of puppy love, it is informative and a catalyst for character growth. So, J.T., in short, you made me a better woman.

Thus concludes my list of puppy loves. I write this post with the intention of providing a tiny bit of nostalgic humor, but let me give a word of advice straight from Scripture: “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Song of Solomon 2:7

-M

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