Puppy love Olympic edition

I love the Olympics so very much that I’m thinking about devoting an entire post just about the games.  So for now, while I try to organize those thoughts, here’s my Olympic puppy love list!   Maybe a little silly to some, but sorry I’m not sorry haha.

First off, Michael Phelps.  Yes, yes, yes I know he got caught with the drugs, but I loved him before that and I’ve loved him since.  I swear the man is part fish and his sheer talent is what initially attracted me to him.  22 medals sure ain’t bad sir!  There was a new Michael Phelps at this Olympics.  He wasn’t as amped up and insane like he was in Beijing.  He was more humble about his accomplishments and when things didn’t go the way he would have liked, he never lost that quiet confidence of his.Plus he wears that speedo WELLI don’t think Phelpsy is the hottest guy I’ve ever seen, but he makes my puppy love list because I think he is a beautiful athlete, I’m blown away by what he has done, and there’s just something about him that has always grabbed my attention.  I have loved watching him compete and I will admit, I was depressed the last time he took the medal stand.  He’s just so fun to watch and I will miss screaming encouragements at him through my television or computer.  True story, Brooke and I may have been yelling at our computers while at work when he raced against Lochte.  And I loved every second of it.  So thanks for the memories Phelpsy, and if you decide to come back in Rio, I’ll be THRILLED.Next up is Nathan Adrian.  Now, first of all, I have to put a disclaimer on this and state for the record that my dear ultimate Priscilla has dibs on him.  He belongs to her.  Buuuuut that said, he’s such a babe and deserves to be on here.    That smile!  Those teeth!  That personality!  That height!  Those medals! Stop it Nathan Adrian, just stop it! And, like Phelpsy, he wears that speedo WELL.Next up!  Matt Anderson.  I didn’t know a thing about this guy until this Olympics and for whatever reason, he became my olympic boyfriend.  He’s tall!  He’s cute!  He’s athletic!He’s got swag!And this last picture just makes me laugh.  Let’s pretend it’s for real okay?  Okay! Last but not least is Mr. Ryan Lochte!  Jeah!  Sure he struggles when he gives interviews and he can be a little cocky I think, but shoot, the guy has a reason to be cocky.  He’s an amazing athlete and he’s worked hard to get where he is;  he beat my guy Phelpsy!  That’s talent!  And he’s so cute.  My mom thinks he’s a doll.  Lauren and I agree he’s a babe.  Priscilla thinks he’s hot and if anyone could transform him into a proper dresser and interviewer, it’s her.  So there’s hope for the lad.  Bless his heart.  I see you Mr. Lochte, don’t worry!  And oh yes, he also wears that speedo WELL  So there you have it-my olympic puppy love list.  God bless America, yes?  I’m convinced my future hubby is an olympian.  They’re tall and strong and oh so cute!  I mean, I could wear heels with all 4 of these guys!  Dream come true!  So…RIO 2016 here I come!  Who’s with me!?

Mischief Managed

Puppy Love: Monica Edition

After reading Lauren’s puppy love flashback, I felt inspired. I’m sure every gal can relate to the stories of a childhood crush. You remember the first few times your heart went all pit-pat-flip-flop-and-uh-flubba-dub-dub. Am I right? I mean, never mind the fact that some puppy loves were Disney cartoon characters! And what’s more, who cared if he was human or not! Robin Hood anyone? A dream boat right? Ooom hmmm. I’d still take a glowing flower ring from foxy Ol’ Rob any time, thank you very much. But I must digress. Whilst cartoon characters did make me giddy, they never once held a candle to my true live puppy loves. Yes, I say loves, plural, because there were multiple. SHOCK AND HORROR! WRETCHED UNFAITHFUL WENCH! I know *sigh*, I know. However, once I’ve shared the who, what, when, how, and why, I’m sure I’ll be forgiven for my unsteady ways.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy a little bit of eye candy… from a child’s point of view.

Enter exhibit A or numero uno: Little Joe Cartwright.

Ah, my first love. Swoon and sigh with me please! The first time I saw Little Joe sally forth from the Ponderosa on his black and white steed, I knew it was love. A girl never forgets her first cowboy love. Who could forget those eyes, that hair, the smile, and that manly getup! I knew Little Joe was destined to be my man! Sadly, my hopes were dashed. It never occurred to my childish mind that Bonanza was filmed years before my time. Alas, when I found out Little Joe was indeed long gone, I was crushed.

R.I.P. my love

So I moved on…and on … and on… and on…

It’s mighty morphin’ time!!: Tommy, Green/White/ Red Ranger

I couldn’t have picked a better rebound love if I do say so myself. Let’s see, shall I list some of his endearing qualities? Ok, here goes- Native American, Check. Handsome, Check. “Super Powers”, Check Check! Fights injustice and saves mankind, CHECK CHECK!! Ding the bell this girl is down for the count!

You know, I don’t recall the reason why our relationship went sour. It was so long ago. I hear he’s into cage fighting or some such thing these days. In hind sight it’s probably for the best we went our separate ways.

I don’t think mother and father would approve…. Hold up! Is that a “Jesus Didn’t Tap Out” tat I see!? Then, on second thought…Oh wait, forget it. The bride of chucky there on the pec? No.

*Disclaimer* I’m about to go against my original claim and insert a cartoon character in this list. Please forgive me.

Tale as old as time, true as it can be: The Beast (in human form)

When the narrator asked, “For who could ever learn to love a beast?”, I jumped up shouting with wild abandon, “I COULD! I COULD! ME! ME! PICK ME!”. However, that reaction didn’t come until after I had already seen the movie once and knew what The Beast would morph into at the end. True I feigned disinterest since who would ever fall for a man with fat lips (the irony, ha!)? Secretly though, I was smitten. After all, he did give Belle a library and pretty dresses.

I like to pretend I’m Belle. I’m sure you can see why.

Perhaps this is where my obsession with red hair began: Gilbert Blythe.

Upon first introduction, I found Gilbert to be a silly boy. How dare he insult red heads! Not that I should be offended, I’m not a ging myself, but I’d like to be. However, Gil’s persistence and genuine kindness began to make an impression on me. I wasn’t entirely sold on him until he finally declared is love whilst lying in feverish state. When Gilbert was dying, I too felt the reaper’s sickle descending upon me. When he gallantly strode through the apple orchard, I was the bird singing of his triumphant march!

The man from snowy river himself: Jim Craig

It is worth mentioning and I’m sure you’ve already noticed, there are two cowboys on my list. Though, I think it’s safe to say Jim Craig is the ultimate cowboy (after The Duke of course). If you’ve never seen The Man From Snowy River, please, do yourself a favor and watch it. If you think you’re safe and in no danger of falling for this Australian mountain man, think again my friend, think again.

Hmmm, something is wrong with this picture…

There we are. The happy couple.

He brought sexy back and his favorite color is baby blue: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!! *wild-crazy-fan-girl-screams*

You know how Shakespeare once penned, “The sun sees not till Heaven clears”?  My love for J.T. was a bit like that. I had bunches of clouds gettin’ all crazy up in here *waving hand in front of my face*. I will admit, back in the day I’d run to the TV screen and kiss his face whenever NSYNC made an appearance. I felt no shame. Shoot, I still don’t. Would I go for pastel purple glasses and diamond studs now? No, not if I wanted to keep some shred of dignity.  But there in lies the beauty of puppy love, it is informative and a catalyst for character growth. So, J.T., in short, you made me a better woman.

Thus concludes my list of puppy loves. I write this post with the intention of providing a tiny bit of nostalgic humor, but let me give a word of advice straight from Scripture: “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Song of Solomon 2:7

-M

When friends text ~ Novel edition

This story is composed of a series of texts that Lauren and I sent to each other sometime either during or right after the last winter Olympics and sometime aound when the movie Wolfman was released.  It all started because I was home alone and I was scared, so Lauren texted me a sentance, and I continued it and it just exploded into a story.  And now you get to enjoy it, you lucky duck.

*On a side note, I’m having SERIOUS issues with the formatting of this for some reason.  It looks perfect in the draft and then when it’s published, the pictures are weirdly spaced out.  Sorry!

So now I shall introduce you to the cast~

Starring Lauren and Katie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cristiano Ronaldo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sven Kramer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jensen Ackles

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And of course, WOLFMAN

 

 

 

 

And now for our feature presentation.  Keep in mind every 200 or so characters is a new text since our old phones only let us send so much at one time.  But even rereading it, I couldn’t tell you who wrote what except that Lauren did the first sentance.  Enjoy!!

It was a dark and stormy night. Our young heroine was all alone in her country house.  Fog rolled in from the woods, curling outward from the trees.  A coyote howled in the distance.  BOOM!  Katie heard from outside her house.  Naturally she ran to the window to take a look and saw a most horrible and grotesque sight!  A bloody handprint was smeared across the glass.  Suddenly the phone rang.

Katie, still breathing heavily from the shock of the handprint answered the phone with a gulp.  “Katie?”  It was her friend Lauren.  Katie breathed a huge sigh of relief, but then she heard a ‘sqeeeeeak’ and as she turned to the window, the bloody handprint was gone.  In its place was a red smear that descended all the way down until there was no more glass.

Katie naturally dropped the phone and backed up until she ran into something large and hard.  Two strong arms grabbed her!  All Lauren could hear was a muted scream.  Lauren decided then and there that she needed to find Katie.  She would need help though, so she texted Sven : “Katies. 911.”

Several minutes later, Lauren and Sven met up at the base of Katie’s driveway.  When they realized that the fog was so thick they couldn’t see, Sven decided to call for backup.  Lauren, too impatient to wait and having been to Katie’s house many times, got out of the car and ran towards the door.  Sven decided to call Jensen.  He might not be an Olympian, but he killed supernatural things on TV.  When he hung up with Jensen, he raced after his reckless girlfriend.  When he was halfway up the hill, he heard another scream!  He stopped midstride, fists clenching.  He listened for anymore sounds.  That scream didn’t sound like Lauren or Katie.  Who else was there?

He listened hard, ears straining to hear anything through the fog.  He whipped out his phone to call Lauren and he heard it ringing somewhere to the left of him.  He ran in that direction, dodging tree branches when he heard a croak “help!”  He turned to his right and dropped to the ground.  An unrecognizable man was lying on the ground.  His face was torn and bloodied and his heart was exposed.  Sven began to pump the man’s heart in an effort to keep him alive.

Jensen appeared out of the fog loaded with two sawed off shotguns.  He stared at the man in horror.  He recognized the man despite his battered face.  It was Cristiano Ronaldo, his favorite soccer player.  Shaking his head, he ripped off his jacket to cover the wounds.  While he tried to stop the bleeding he asked, “Have you seen Katie?  Where did Lauren go?”  Cristiano struggled to breathe. “They…were running…crashed into me…tried to save them …it…got…me…”  Jensen and Sven carried Cristiano to the car.  Jensen tossed Sven a gun and they headed back towards the house.

Sven tried to call 911 to get an ambulance, but all he got was a roaming signal.  “Always happens,” Jensen said, shaking his head, “Ready for this?”  Sven looked him in the eye and nodded.  Then a horrific noise filled the air!  A roar so terrible it caused the hair on the backs of their necks to rise.  Instead of getting scared off, Jensen and Sven were more determined than ever.  They made their way up the driveway and found the front door hanging open by its hinges.  They stepped through the door.  Everything was eerily silent.  But then a deep, quiet growl made the hair on their necks stand and goose bumps rise on their arms.  They whirled to their right and saw Katie’s dog Buddy growling at a dark form huddled in the corner.  They slowly turned their guns on the crouching form.

Sven squinted…what was it?  “Aw man.  Werewolves.  I hate werewolves.  They are so not like the ones in Twilight.”  Jensen chuckled, “Tell me about it.  There’s nothing appealing about these guys.”  Suddenly they heard Katie in the direction of the barn.  The werewolf leaped up and crashed through the glass.  Jensen quickly said to Sven, “Whatever you say, don’t’ say ‘over my dead body’ it’s always a death wish!” before jumping after the wolfman.  Sven laughed darkly and followed Jensen out onto the deck.  The blood of the wolfman glistened darkly on the ground.  They decided to follow the crimson trail.  It led them to the barn and then seemed to vanish into the woods.

They saw the end of the trail a woman kneeling, staring into the woods, a tear rolling down her cheek.  She muttered, “I must…it’s for the best.”  “Uh, ma’am?” Sven called, “are you okay?”  She started and turned to face them.  “He doesn’t mean it!  He doesn’t know himself right now!”  Her eyes were wild and she was clutching a pistol.

Just then not one, but two screams erupted from somewhere in the woods.  The trio immediately took off in the direction of the screams, but the screams abruptly stopped.  The woman yelled, “Stop!”  She heaved in a breath, “I’m going to go left and make noise.  You need to stay on course.  Silently.”  Before Jensen and Sven could reply, she dashed off.  They glanced at each other, shouldered their rifles, and headed towards where they heard the screams.  Then, two shapes burst through the woods!

Toby and Kooba! Katie’s other dogs.  Sven and Jensen couldn’t hide their disappointment and also terror because they had thought the dogs were werewolves.  But just when they caught their breath, Katie and Lauren sprinted past them like flashes of lightning.  Jensen and Sven did a double take and without a word started after Katie and Lauren.  Just when they thought they were getting a little closer, a huge, hairy, slobbery, bloody werewolf leapt out in front of them!  Buddy, Kooba, and Toby growled at the massive beast.

The enormous beast leapt at the men!  A shot rang out, the beast screamed and fell to the ground.  Behind him was the woman with the gun pointed to where the body had just been.  The wolfman’s body began to writhe and shake.  It slowly transformed into a man.  The woman began to cry as she knelt down next to the man.  Jensen and Sven backed away, giving them their privacy.  Plus, they still needed to find their women!

“Let’s take Katie’s horses,” Jensen said, “we can cover more ground that way.”  They jumped on Scout and Country who appeared as if on cue.  Scout whinnied for his Katie and they rode off.  They found the girls sitting at the edge of the hill huddled together, exhausted, but the most beautiful sight the two of them had ever seen.  Sven and Jensen jumped off the horses and strode over to their women.  Suddenly a large beast rose up behind the girls.  The horses whinnied in fright!  Sven and Jensen threw Lauren and Katie their guns.  The girls spun around to face the beast!  They didn’t hesitate to shoot and their aim was perfect which surprised everyone since the shotguns were of high caliber and had a terrible kick.

“There is always a second one.” Jensen shrugged.   Lauren grabbed Katie in to a hug.  “That was definitely an adventure!”  Katie laughed nervously, “I love you, but WHY didn’t you just call the cops?!”  Lauren and Sven looked at each other.  “We tried.  The fog must have made us lose the reception.”  “We should probably get back to the house and call the cops again so they can take care of this guy.” Jensen said, motioning to the now dead man on the ground.  Sven easily hoisted Lauren onto Country and Jensen helped Katie onto Scout.  As they headed back home, Katie looked at Lauren, “I told you my house was creepy!”

Lauren laughed.  “Of course this would happen to you.”

Sven looked at Jensen.  “Do you think Ronaldo will survive the thrashing?”

Katie burst out laughing and both girls said in unison, “Ronaldo takes a hit!”

The end.

Mischief Managed.