When Friends Text: Hunky Tan Men and Fighting Over Bass Guitars

M: Itunes is recommending conan the barbarian for me. In the “recommendations for you” box there’s opera, opera, opera, and conan.

K: That’s awesome. Makes sense I think.

M: Oh and there’s Prince of Persia too! I guess I’m into tan hunky men with loin clothes and swords… Glad I got that vital knowledge sorted out. Thank you itunes.

K: They truly know you better than anyone.

M: Well, just booked my one way flight to Samoa. Destiny here I come!

K: Perfect! according to itunes, you’ll be forever happy!

M: They don’t do sumo wrestling there do they? That might kill the dream

K: I don’t think so. You’re in the clear.

M: Jelly rolls and man wedgies, errr eee… no.

M: Thank goodness my man is solid.

K: We’re watching Jesus is a Friend of Mine video!

M: Bass guitar is my boyfriend, so back off!

K: I may have winked at him.

M: *hhhhiihhhh gasp!*…. I throw my leather glove at you!

K: Challenge accepted!

M: *ching* Brandish your rapier you wastrel!!

K: *schlink* My sword is drawn.

M: Than by my troth this day I shall fight!

K: *cue dramatic music*

K: I’ve got my sword drawn and ready. All for a wink!

M: For a wink you shall fight and by a wink/ a glint of my sword you shall diiiiiiiiiieeee

K: *clink clank shlank* Ahhh! Ah ha! I have you now!

M: *schlink clank clank THUNK* Ah ha! Or so you thought. Take that!

M: Your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberries!

K: *cling clunk shlink* Maybe so! But! I know something you do not!

M: That cats not my mother!?

K: Well yes, but that was not what I was going to say! I am left handed!

M: Oh. I knew it. Excuse me while I go sing “Somewhere out There” and gaze longingly up at the night sky…

K: You are excused. Bass guitar shall comfort you…

M: *mournful singing off in the distance*

M: *and meanwhile back on the farm…*

M: I’m back! ah ha! And! I know something you don’t know… Neither am I!! *schlink schlink schlink clank clank*

K: Oh fine! I see the duel has intensified!

M: Whoo are  you???

K: You shall never know.

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